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Hello My Fellow Sage!

As I write this, my grandson, Amaury, is sleeping.

He's 14—almost 15. They grow up ridiculously fast.

He leaves tonight at 7:00, and already I can feel a little sadness creeping in.

I love having him here. I love our conversations, our time together, and simply knowing he's in the house.

Of course I'm going to miss him.

But this morning, as I thought about our last day together, I noticed something.

I don't want the sadness of him leaving to have me clinging to every moment or trying to create the perfect final day.

So instead of asking myself:

What are we going to do today?

I asked:

How do I want to be today?

Three words came to me.

Loving. Playful. Present.

Loving is easy.

Playful is one I need to work on. It doesn't always come naturally to me!

And present? Let's just say I'm getting better.

When I finish writing this, I'll make his favorite cinnamon coffee cake. It's become a tradition on the last day of his visits so he can take some home.

Nothing elaborate. Just one of those small ways I say I love you without actually saying the words.

He has summer math to finish. I'll be around if he needs me.

And then we'll allow the day to unfold.

There will be love. There will be sadness. Hopefully plenty of laughter.

I don't need to change any of those feelings. I simply want to be present for all of them.

And that got me thinking about something I've been practicing lately.

What if we began our mornings with a TO-BE list?

Most of us are pretty familiar with the TO-DO LIST dancing in our heads before our feet even hit the floor.

What needs to get done? Where do I need to be? What did I forget yesterday?

But underneath all that doing is something we don't always stop to notice.

How am I feeling?

And then perhaps:

How do I want to BE today?

Not what do I want to accomplish.

Not what do I need to check off the list.

But how do I want to be as I move through whatever this day brings?

For me today, it's loving, playful and present.

Tomorrow it may be something completely different.

I didn't always start my mornings this way.

Years ago, I don't think I would have even known how to answer the question:

How do I want to BE today?

My TO-DO list was simply too loud.

I would wake up thinking about what needed to get done, where I needed to be, and what I might already be behind on.

Frankly, I didn't know another way to start my day.

Then someone introduced me to a simple gratitude practice.

At the time, I was also convinced it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to quiet my mind. Instead of trying to quiet it, he suggested giving my mind something else to focus on—gratitude.

Even if it was simply being grateful for the warm cup of coffee I was holding.

That I could do.

There was always something I could appreciate. A person I loved. A memory. The sun coming through the window. That first warm sip of coffee.

And slowly, something began to change.

The TO-DO list didn't disappear.

It just wasn't always the first thing I listened to.

I began to notice how gratitude felt—not just what I was thinking, but what was happening in my body.

A softening.

A slower breath.

Sometimes a lightness around my heart.

And somewhere along the way, my morning practice evolved.

Gratitude is still part of it. But now I also pause and ask:

How am I feeling?

And:

How do I want to BE today?

Try it tomorrow morning.

Before your TO-DO list gets too loud, give yourself a minute.

Notice how you're feeling.

No judgment. Nothing to change.

Then ask yourself:

How do I want to BE today?

Maybe it's peaceful.

Curious.

Confident.

Patient.

Playful.

Present.

Or something entirely different.

Choose a word—or a few words—that feel right for your day.

Then close your eyes and take a breath.

Imagine yourself moving through what's ahead with that intention.

What might it look like?

How does it feel in your body?

And remember, you're not deciding how you're supposed to feel all day.

I can choose to be playful and present with Amaury today and still feel sad when he leaves tonight.

Both can be true.

Your TO-BE intention is simply something you can return to as your day unfolds.

Your Morning To-Be Check-In

I wanted a simple way to put this into practice, so I created a printable Morning To-Be Check-In.

A few questions. A little space to pause. Nothing complicated.

Keep it beside your bed, tuck it into your journal, or leave it wherever you enjoy your morning coffee.

DOWNLOAD THE MORNING TO-BE CHECK-IN MY MORNING TO-BE CHECK-IN.pdf​

Try it tomorrow morning.

Maybe try it for a few mornings.

And simply notice what happens.

We spend so much of our lives thinking about what we need to do.

Perhaps it's worth spending a few moments each morning considering how we want to be.

To a loving, playful and present day,

Nancy

Share the Reflection

Know someone who might enjoy beginning their day with a little more intention?

Forward this Reflection and invite them to create their own TO-BE list.

And if someone shared this Reflection with you, I'd love to have you join us.